It seems so obvious to some, yet for me, it hasn’t always been so simple or a natural state of being for various reasons. Lately however, I have been awakened to a path of self-discovery – and with it, I’ve been more consciously aware of an interesting fact.
In reality, I hadn’t been living as authentically as I could’ve been!
Apparently authenticity is a quality I’ve been missing for much of my adult life. Only lately has this truth been brought to the forefront of my mind as something I need to make peace with.
The sad truth is that for years, I lived in a world of illusion translated by marketing executives. They paint a picture of what “enjoying life” looks like and many times I fell for it. So I learned to believe that the person with the most toys wins!
Not that they should get all the blame.
On my own, I looked on with envious eyes at what others had and did, measuring myself against their achievements. I was haunted by past failures marked by an endless line of fits and starts punctuated by unrealistic desires and expectations. The choices I made were conceived through the lens of unfocused intention. I had dreams with no plan of how to realize them, and blindly pursued objectives that often led to blank walls.
“Vision without action is a daydream – Action without vision is a nightmare.” ~ Japanese Proverb
Unhappy In My Own Skin
I lived a significant part of my life seeking the approval of others, consumed by social peer pressure. Ultimately this led me to literally being something I was not, a person I was displeased with, subsisting in a state of unhappiness. But I wanted to be happy and I wanted to be comfortable living in my own skin. The only way to do this was to muster the courage to practice being genuine. But how?
I think it has to do with:
- Having my actions and words match up with my beliefs and values.
- It’s about doing MY thing, being who I want to be.
- It’s about following MY passions instead of being an imitation of what I think I should be or behaving in a way society suggests!
Instead of always looking outside of myself thinking that someone else “has it going on.” Or believing that since someone else is smart and talented, this makes me less so. Or believing that their occupation makes them more important.
I should look at my inner worth and take the time to REMEMBER who I am, determine what my values are and what I believe in.
In essence, be honest and tell myself the undisputed truth – I AM ME! And this truth will set “me” free.
It is an amazingly empowering feeling to take the time to sort through my basic belief systems. To determine which of my beliefs are coming from a mature and healthy place, and which ones are coming from a childhood place of anxious insecurity.
It’s wonderful to begin to take an inventory of my own likes and dislikes and realize that what works for others is fine for them, but it doesn’t have to fit for me. It’s fantastic to realize that this is my life, my unique experience, and it’s not necessary to duplicate someone else’s.
I am giving myself permission to focus on the things that resonate for me and to pursue those things with confidence.